I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
