I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
