He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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