I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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