i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
