Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
