so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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