Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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