OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
