I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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