he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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