eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you win again, gameday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
