I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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