i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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