Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
