I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
