She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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