Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
