I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
