I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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