I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We have started to decorate penises.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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