wrigley field is MILF paradise
Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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