Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
