He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
