no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize