NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
