i just wanna soil my oats bro
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
