we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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