That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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