my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
