Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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