Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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