I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
