Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
a search helicopter?!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
