Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
