Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
