dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
