You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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