your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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