did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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