i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
