I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
