i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
