A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
