So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
