forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
