hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
