apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As shirtless as possible
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
