We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
