I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
