dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
