Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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