i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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