Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize