it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
