Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No subtext here. People are naked.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They took my balls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
