When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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