I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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