How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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