Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
