dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
